Just Go With It.

Today, I went out of my crib to study with two of my beeeeest and awesome friends. We're really supposed to study, but we ended up chatting with each other, eating, and watching a movie. That was really fun, I should admit. I miss these people, and boredom was finally killed. But it doesn't end with that. Behind the happiness I am feeling while I was with them, a lot of things were running on my mind. Doubts, uncertainties, fears, and every single thing that concerns about what will happen next.

What will happen next? What will happen with my life if I didn't make it, and everyone close to me does? What will happen if he made it, and I didn't? What will happen if things go the other way around? What's waiting for us? What's waiting for me? What could possibly life be by then?

It drives me crazy to think about What if's, or sort of like those. Over thinking makes me feel like I'm going insane. But hello, what if things aren't meant to be? What if things would go differently? What if the whole life I have been living in the first year of my college life was not the life meant for me? What if things suddenly change? Would I be ready for that? Would I be prepared enough to face them all and survive? Of course, I would and I could make it through. Of course I'd move on. But how long would it take me to absorb everything and accept them? How could I take the pain of just letting it go? Okay. I'm over dramatic. But I really just couldn't imagine how different life could be once everything starts to change. AGAIN. And it's not the same now. I know this time, it's HARDER.

Nothing stays the same. Change is a constant thing in everyone's life. But I have this fear I am holding deep inside me now. The FEAR OF LOSING what I have right now. Those things that I have treasured long enough for me to lose them all of a sudden. A question from one of my friends earlier struck me. "Paano pag nag-end yung sa inyo ni Jeff?" Paano nga ba? I didn't answer the question, but it made me think. What if everything suddenly changes and I didn't notice I am already losing him? That we're slowly drifting apart? I don't want that to happen. i don't want to lose him. Not now. Not tomorrow. NEVER.

Another girl drama. Yes. Maybe it is.

Another over thinking about things. Well, exactly.

Another post filled with emotions I'm trying to keep. Another set of words which my heart tries to explain. Another entry that shows how I am feeling at the moment, though it may not be that exact. Just another thing about my life. And I am just going with it. I guess that's all what I have to do. Live life. Love it. Experience it. Explore it. Appreciate it. And just go with what comes along with it.