Monday, July 30, 2012

Why is everything so confusing?

Words. Words. Words. What do I want to say? What do I want to hear? What do I want to listen to? What do I want to conceal? But really, of all these desires, what do I need?

We're living in a world where we aim to please, as they say. But does this justify the lies we utter in order to please others? Does this justify the pain after knowing we have just been fooled by these words? I don't know. I can't tell. I'm confused, too. 

Why do people have to tell us one thing then take it back? Why do they have to fill our minds with so much hope and promises then leave us hanging afterwards? Why is it so hard to understand what's real and what's not? Why are words so complicated to decipher and figure out? 

It makes me sad and confused, and it hurts. I am emotionally drained from everything. Why do I have to believe one thing and figure out another? And suddenly, they're taking back what you just figured out, saying that what you've been believing is the one that's true. Oh God, I am too tired.

Our mood affects the words we express. You say you were upset, and that made you say those things. But for how long are we going to keep this up? I want to understand you, I want to believe in what you're saying. But how can I deal with all of these when I am too hurt to even think rationally? I am giving the floor to you. If you really want need me in your life, I guess you should do your part. And I'll do mine.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Running away is never a solution. . .

I've been sick for 3 days and it feels like I'm trying to escape from my so-called "school responsibilities." Good or bad? Thumbs up or down? Yay or nyay? 

One thing's for sure: I didn't want this in the first place. Who would want this fucking amoebiasis? :( And now I have already missed 2 lessons from my major subject. And I swore that the moment I feel better, real better, I'd really work hard on what I've missed. No more excuses, no more trying to run away from this fuckin' situation. :|