Wednesday, June 24, 2015

What Happened?

I'll tell them about us
I'll tell them about you
I'll tell them about the persons we were
     The persons we could have been
     And the persons we turned out to be

They'll ask me what now
They'll ask me where you are
They'll ask me what happened to us
      To everything we have planned
      And to those broken dreams and hearts

I'll tell them it just ended
I'll tell them there's nothing to worry about
I'll tell them that's just how things are
      Then they'll stop asking
      But I am hoping you won't

(euni bree)

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

From a Desire to Fit in, to an Urge to Stand out

Back when I was in high school, all I wanted was to fit in. I was surrounded by people who talked about their firsts, their crushes, their boyfriends/girlfriends, and all these things that make you giddy when you're at your puberty.

I entered DLSU with the same frustrations, desires, and aspirations. I wanted to be accepted by many at the expense of not being 100% true to myself. Maybe I was too focused at the wrong things during that time. Maybe that was a whole year when all I wanted was to feel loved, to explore, to experience my firsts, and to mildly rebel from who I was.

It was in San Beda College where I decided that something is not right and something has to change. I have never enjoyed blending in -- it makes me just a part of a circle where I don't even belong in. It was then that the urge to stand out consumed my soul. It was then that I realized that I wanted to be who and how I am without needing to compromise with the demands and pressure of other people. It was then that I figured that it is okay to be weird and to be different. After all, I do not need to please anyone but myself.

It took time to figure out the things I never knew about myself. They were all buried in the deepest of my being that I never thought even existed. Spending more time alone made me see how much I enjoy my own company more than being with people who barely even understand who I am. I am a complicated person, I realized.

The thing is, we all have our different ways to discover who we are. Some people would need to distant themselves from others, while some would need to get along with many for them to find who they are. So if you are lost, confused, or baffled, take a step back. Where do you find yourself standing in a crowd full of strangers? Where would you be heading in a journey you have never been into? Who do you find yourself with in a deserted area? Are you comfortable being who you think you are around your so-called friends?

Some will find it easy to discover who they are. Some will get lost in the process. The important thing is you do not give up on yourself. You are your best company. You are who you are, and who you want yourself to be.

(edited version @