Thursday, May 28, 2009


The Vampires, The Olympic Coven, The CULLEiNS,

or whatever name you'd call us - you can't change the fact that we're a
family bonded by the university that brought us together. We may not talk that often to one another, we may not know each other that much, but one thing's for sure, we won't let things be this way forever. We would surely do something to strengthen this family we have.

It started with Alice and Emmett, Eunice and Ben, respectively. It was the 28th of April, past 11PM when the vampire talk has begun. See this page to know how it went: PAGE 2959. And as days pass by, our number has increased. Lein became a part of us, and she had to choose between Bella and Rosalie. I
t had taken a long argument before I finally agreed that she could be Alice, and I had to be Bella. Errrr. She threatened me that she would take Edward away from me! Why would I want that??? And then Rosalie came. It was really Ben who suggested that Ate Jen should take the role of Rosalie. I wonder why? :)) Days passed by and Shin was already included in the group. He became Jasper. He had no choice, he doesn't want to be Carlisle. (Trivia: Shin became Jasper during those times that he was still teasing Lein with that destiny and fate thingy. haha.) Actually, I don't know who came next. Maybe it was Mark, who became Carlisle. To be honest, I think he was somehow forced to be the dad of the group because Edward's slot is not free that time. I mean, I refuse to have Edward in the group. :)) And then, we had Wendy and Krizz, who became Renesmee and Esme, respectively. Mygaaaawd. I had a daughter? Hahaha. Anyway, let's go on. Kuya Xtian appeared out of nowhere. Haha, kidding. I was already searching for Edward that time, and I could still remember that I've put "wanted: edward cullen" in my siggy. Gawwwd. I'm crazy. Haha. Shin and I were then talking about the search for Edward in FU, and stuffs. I don't know how to narrate this, but definitely, it ended in Kuya Xtian taking the role of Edward. And teneeeen. The Cullen Family is already complete.

So, today's May 28, 2009. It's our 1st monthsary, since the vampire talk has begun. I know that some of us really haven't got the chance to talk with the other vampires in this group, but I
hope that there will come a time wherein we could be complete, and we could know each other more than just friends, but a family.

Happy 1st Monthsary guys!

You know I LOVE YOU soooo much. :)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Out of Reach


/a song for him/

Knew the signs, wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused, my heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn't see
We were never meant to be

Caught myself, From despair
I could drown if I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

So much hurt, so much pain
Takes a while to regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm so confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn't see
We were never meant to be

Out of reach, so far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there for me


Urgh. I really love the song. Masyado akong nakarelate. Masyado akong tinamaan. When I first heard its lyrics, isang tao na agad pumasok isip ko. Let's hide this person in the name HAIL. He's a guy, of course. And he's the one I was just talking about in my previous blog.

Anyway, bakit ko nga ba nasabing masyado akong tinamaan sa kantang to? See the strikethrough decorated words? Those lines in the song reflect a lot on how I really feel about Hail. Kung dati ko pa nadiscover ang kantang to, matagal ko nang kinanta para sa kanya to.

Was i ever loved by you? One of the best lines tlga. 'Coz that was a question that has never been answered. I never knew if he really did love me, seriously. Parang joke time nalang kasi lagi.

I never had your heart. Kasi nga, you never gave it. Sino nga ba ako sa kanya diba? Haha. I sound so bitter. But I am not. Honestly.

For these past few days, it was really amazing to find myself looking back at those times with him. At first, nagbasa lang ako ng diary ko when I was in grade 6. I kept on laughing because of all the crazy things I've done, and felt. Pero the next day, I still found myself holding back. I mean, hindi ko parin maialis sa isip ko yung mga memories. Na-refresh kasi ng diary.

And now I'm so confused. Eto totoo talga. Gulong-gulo ako ngayon in many ways. First, I felt too bothered by his thoughts in my mind. Second, I feel like I am going back instead of moving forward. And third, I feel like I'm in love with the person from the past. Alam mo yun? Person from the past kasi iba na siya ngayon. Hindi mo na siya nakakausap ngayon. Pero mahal mo parin siya - mahal mo parin yung memories na iniwan niya, mahal mo parin yung taong minahal mo sa kanya. Pero hindi na siya yung taong yun ngayon. Sabi nga nila, people change. Kaya ikaw, nasasaktan ka, dahil hindi mo alam kung saan ka pa dapat pumunta. Pkiramdam mo pati, walang nakakaintindi sa nararamdaman mo. People you'll ask for help will just tell you to 'move on', 'wag mo nalang masyadong isipin', 'namimiss mo lang' - pero wt*, paano ko ba ipapaintindi sa kanila na hindi madali lahat? Na kung sila kaya nila, sila yun. And we had different situations, hindi nila pinagdaanan ang napagdaanan ko. They don't know how I felt during the times na nakikita ko pa si Hail lagi, during those times na malapit pa ako sa kanya, those times na alam kong kilala niya pa ako, at may halaga pa ako kahit papaano sa kanya.

PEOPLE DON'T KNOW, 'cause they've never been in my position. Kaya madali sa knila ang magsalita.

There's only one choice left: face this on my own. I would follow what this heart would say, and what this mind would suggest.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

This isn't a love story. ;)

/edited - May 17/

My second post.Weeee. I don't know what to put here. Should I say anything? I can't tell you my love story, because I don't have any. I can't tell you how's my heart now, because it has gone somewhere looking for the right one. LOL. But anyway, I'll just tell you random things.

Four years ago, I met my 1st love, but I'll never mention his name here. :D He made me smile, he made me laugh, he brought colors to my life. But then of course, he was also able to make me cry, to make me mad, and to make me feel like giving up. The funny thing is, we're never really close friends. We always argue, we always fight - for unreasonable reasons. He was always teasing me, and I seldom fight back. Months have passed, and I eventually admitted to myself that I'm in love with him. I tried to avoid the feeling, I tried to forget him, I tried to keep myself away from him. But there are just these circumstances that fate is bringing to my life.

One time, we had an argument. I can't recall what's the cause of it, but I'm too sure that it isn't a big deal. We weren't talking to each other for many weeks then. But one afternoon, while I was cleaning the room & arranging the chairs, someone approached me. He said sorry, and that was all i could remember.

There's also this situation wherein we were teasing, and running for each other. And when I managed to stop running, he approached me from the back and held me within his arms. I guess he has done that so that I'd lose the game. But the way he was holding was more like a hug. Which made me feel awkward inside, and made my heart changed it's beat.

There's this another moment that we weren't talking for almost a month. And by that time, I could really tell myself that I'm already over him. Until one time, while I was seating on my chair, he approached and sat beside me. *I mean, really beside me, on the same chair. Errrrr. How I hate him for doing that. And then all the feelings that I thought were already gone came back, it just a moment like that.

Since we're graduating that time, the month of March is not a month of classes anymore. Instead, it's a month of staying in the room, or in the gym. The succeeding days in the 2nd week of March affected me alot. It may seem so funny, but to tell you, those were the days when he keep on bugging me about some stuffs -- telling me that he loves me, asking me whether he's still the one I like or not, calling me *honey*, shouting to everyone that I'm his girlfriend, teasing me about sweet stuffs for a change [*bec. he used to tease me just to make me feel angry and hurt*], and giving me little *accidental hugs. How will I forget those days that seemed to be a dream come true for me? But then again, in the end, I found out why he was doing those things. He and my bestfriend had a deal. I lose the game again.

Since then, we haven't talked anymore, as far as I could remember. We haven't even had any conversation durng the Graduation mass and the Graduation itself. A painful goodbye, I guess.

A year had passed after that, and someone texted me. I don't know who this person was because his number wasn't registered to my phone. So I asked that person, and he replied, "I'm spiderman". The conversation went on, and eventually, I was able to find out who he was. It's HIM. For 3 consecutive days, we're texting each other all day and all night long. *Sometimes i'm being too exaggerated. Waaaa. I don't want to go on with this anymore. I know what happened next, and it would be better if you don't get any information about it anymore. :D

This isn't a love story. It's a blog of random stuffs. :))
And mind you, that was the story of my past, I'm not in love with that person anymore. Even though I'd admit that I do believe in the saying, "first love never dies..."

Wednesday, May 06, 2009


Waaa. An introduction? I don't even really know how to introduce myself well. But, okay, let me try.

Eu-niz Sillan isn't my real name. How did I get it? It's a long story, and I won't even waste any minute just to tell you here. :p Ooops, sorry for that. I'm just a little bit lazy to let you know. I'm not that talkative, as you may assume. I'm a shy type of person, though it isn't quite obvious. But I love being real, I love being who I really am. Pretending is not out of my league, though. I'm also fond of it, but only when I needed to. Why have I decided to make this blog? Errr. I don't know. I just got inspired by lein's, and there, I made mine too.

That's all for now. Watch out for my revelations here, when time comes. ;)