And I sometimes wonder how would it be like when I stopped caring too much. When I finally became the person who doesn't give a damn about every little thing. Would it make you feel better or worse?
Girls have a habit of being too paranoid about little things and guys easily get annoyed about it. But maybe, we just have our own way of showing how we'd like you to care for us. Maybe we're scared for you to get tired of our drama, yet too stubborn to do something 'bout it. But believe me, we're trying. Our emotions are just too strong that we can't handle it right most of the time. Just as you find it hard to manage your anger when you feel tired of dealing with us.
Yes sometimes we're shallow, and we don't make sense. We find it hard to explain ourselves in a way that you'll understand us. We find it hard to tell you that we've only acted/felt that way because we're too afraid of what could possibly happen next. And then the next thing we know, you've already shut yourselves off from us.
You don't understand how long the things you've said could stay in our minds. We don't understand it too. You try to tell us to get over them because these should stay in the past, and believe me, we really try so hard to do as you say. But we always tend to look back and remember how it felt before. We always tend to bring those things up again because these have become part of who we are now. These things play a crucial role on how we try to understand you and ourselves and on how we deal with the relationship we have. And we'll ask ourselves, is this a good thing or not?
Little things matter. And I realized that they could either build a great thing up or destroy one. I hope I'll soon find a way to finally let these insecurities and past issues go. I wouldn't want to destroy myself...