Friday, June 21, 2013

Isn't It Ironic, Don't You Think?

Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you 
when you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out
when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face

Isn’t ironic when you thought you’ve already had everything in control but, the next thing you know is that you’re already losing them? Isn’t ironic when you were able to get something you’ve badly wanted and not realizing its worth afterwards? Isn’t it ironic how life tests our strength and courage by making us feel weak and terrified? Isn’t it ironic how our failures eventually help us succeed in life? Isn’t it ironic that the one thing you loved the most has the greatest power to tear you down? Life, indeed, has a funny way of turning things around.

            When I first entered San Beda College, my life is partially whole and partially beyond repair. I was going through a rough time moving on from a failure I have just had from my previous school. I was in the process of putting myself back together and redeeming what I have lost. I was not completely shattered because I still have these special people supporting me in every decision I make. I was not completely broken because I still had my faith intact within me.

It only took me a year to finally feel better again. The journey has not been easy. I have lost some things I thought I never would, and I have gained some which I thought I will never have. But the irony of life haunts me back. Just when I was able to redeem myself, I have lost the most important thing I have held on to when I almost had nothing left with me. My faith crushed down, my performance downgraded, and I have forgotten who I was. My failure made me tough and my success made me fragile. After a year of hard work, there I went again, losing what I have just achieved and what I have just had.

 One academic year had passed since then. Life, for me, is more different now. I have learned to brace myself for whatever might happen next. I have decided to bring back the person I have lost within me. I have conditioned myself to be more prepared this time around. I have figured that in order to survive this game of life, I must be willing to sacrifice a lot.

Being an Accountancy student demands countless things from me - time, effort, patience, hard work and perseverance, to name a few. The irony is that even when I seem to give almost everything I could, I would still end screwing up. Once I get too complacent, I would start losing everything again. That’s when I figured that something has to change, that even though life can be absurd sometimes, you have to find ways to move forward. I could have just chosen to just let it go, give it up, and stop struggling to win it.

But I didn’t.

Because this is what I am fighting for and I know why it is worth it. The beauty, actually, is in the irony of life. Without it, I will never have to wonder and question why things turn out differently. Without questioning, I will never have to try to understand things in a deeper perspective.  Without trying, I will never get to where I want to be. And without getting there, I will never get to see the beauty of life’s irony. 

This essay was originally submitted as a requirement for Auditorial (The Official Publication of the Department of Accountancy&Taxation of San Beda College-Manila)


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