I Am

I’m lost.
The person I once was is fading into the darkness.
I am left here trapped, lonely, and frustrated.
There are a lot of things I wish I could do, but I couldn’t.
A lot of versions of myself I wish I am, but I wasn’t.
What have I done to myself?

I’m exhausted.
People expect me to be this, but I want to be that.
I think I am capable of choosing, but I am not.
At the process of making them happy, I’ve drained myself.
Now I’m thinking, “How can I possibly do something for others,
If I no longer have the energy and drive to do so?”

I’m no one.
I’ve always wanted to make a difference, to be someone.
But I’ve lost my senses, and I do not know who I am.
Constantly battling with my own thoughts and emotions,
Always searching for the right answers.
Who am I again?

It’s been a gloomy day, or has it been a year already?
I need to find my light, my fire, myself
I need to regain my enthusiasm, my positive force, my drive.
I do not expect you to understand what is happening,
But I am hoping that you’d let me do this. . .
Or the cycle will just go on, and on, and on.  –A.E. 2/9/16