Thursday, May 02, 2013

I Just . . .

I just don't want to be the one who would always ask you if you want to go out and have lunch/dinner together...

Sometimes I just want you to be the one asking me. I want to feel that you are also craving to spend time with me. That you also feel the need to be with me.

But most of the time it sucks to realize that I am this kind of girl. I am who I don't want myself to be...

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Mentally Disoriented

Trapped and helpless
Lost and dumbfounded
I wish I never asked
I wish I never knew

Gullible and naive
Shallow and absurd
The argument is over
I'm never gonna win

Stepped with the wrong foot
Tripped by the other
Wounded by my choices
Damaged by accident

The past clouds my judgment
The present's filled with skepticism
Something's holding me back
But the future's pulling me through

Now the spotlight's on me
And I'm all that I can see
A step backward could make me regret
A step forward could make me upset

To leave and let go, or
To stay and perdure
A decision dependent on the other
A choice within another choice

Trapped and helpless
Lost and dumbfounded
Drowned in my introspection
Burned by my own disposition

Friday, April 12, 2013

Every Day by David Levithan - A Review

Every DayEvery Day by David Levithan
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I'll go with the safe rating, 4/5.
I liked the book, yes. But it's driving me crazy. I still can't figure out how he was born that way, living and waking up as another person since birth. How was he even born? I mean, seriously? And the lives of these people he's been borrowing for a day.... won't everything be just screwed up for them for all the missed quizzes, and everything? (hahaha I'm sorry that was lame, but still.... their lives aren't A's and every time he changes their routine, isn't that a way of ruining their lives and relationships w/ other people as well? )

Anyway...

Most/some of us know how it is to be in a relationship, or how to be in love with someone at least. And whether we admit it or not, these persons will never be the same, every day. And so are we. But we love them. We still do love them. Maybe sometimes it's hard to figure out if we're staying just because of fear of being alone, fear of disrupting the arrangement of our current life, fear of uncertainty or just simply because there's a glint of hope within us that tomorrow things will be better. But we know that for this moment, we are willing to accept and this person even if we know that tomorrow, s/he could be a different person. I couldn't really get straight to the point but this book has just made me realize that despite the complications and uncertainties that our future may hold and our past have held, if our love is true, we'd be willing to take risks, whether it means letting go of something or holding on to it.

View all my reviews

Thursday, March 28, 2013

The Giver by Lois Lowry - A review


The Giver (The Giver, #1)

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Not everything under control is perfect. And every single thing could never be under anyone's control.

A society telling us what we must become, a society deciding what's best for us, a society trying to maintain balance in everything, a society which tells us what to hold on to and what we must let go of. We aren't living in this kind of society, or are we?

Are we prisoners of other people's choices for us? Do we really think that if we make other choices (other than those they've already planned for us), we'd be making the wrong one, and we'd be taking the wrong path?

Are we trapped in this kind of world as well? Do we still feel, see, and hear things beyond what our senses can grasp? Or do we simply no longer care about these things?


I find it hard to comment about this book because I feel like the way I've understood the story was quite too shallow compared to the actual message the author was trying to impose.

But I liked the book, I liked the way I understood it (uhh, maybe), even though the ending wasn't quite clear for me. What happened to the community he has left? Was their mission successful or what? The world that holds their future and past, what does it really imply? I don't know, I can't really tell. I'm still on the process of comprehending it further. Maybe I have yet to discover what's beyond the sentences that I've read, the pages that I've turned, the experiences of the characters that I've gone through. Maybe there's still more...

Of course, there will always be something more.


the author also posted this in: http://chapsandmustache.blogspot.com/

Monday, March 18, 2013

Never enough. Well, what's new with that?


Feeling motivated can never be enough. You've got to have the will to get things done.

It just sucks to realize that no matter how much I try to understand everything, no matter how much time I allot for me to accomplish these things, no matter how many things I've given up just to focus on these tasks at hand, I still end up feeling that my efforts aren't enough.

Because I know they aren't. I could still give a lot more, but I just didn't.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

At the end of the day...

Sometimes I feel like you're ignoring me on purpose.
Sometimes I feel like you don't care.
Sometimes I feel like you can't understand me.
Or maybe you just don't.

Every time I feel bad about the way you're treating me, I sometimes wonder if this is worth it. I tend to question myself if this is what I really want.

Guess what.

I always end up realizing that despite everything, I still love you and I still think that what we have is worth it and I still find myself saying, "This is what I want. Who I want. What I love. Who I love."

Maybe I was just overreacting. I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm complicated. And so are you. Our points of view clash. You find me unreasonable and shallow, I find you proud and arrogant. But despite these things, we still try to work things out. We try to fix what seems to be broken even though we know that the damage could not be undone...

I am too emotional and I am really difficult to deal with. I know that, honey. I do things you think I shouldn't, I overreact when you think you've done nothing wrong. I easily get jealous and upset. I can't get over with your past relationship(or relationships?). I ask for too much. I sometimes(always?) demand for your time and attention without considering that you also have other priorities to deal with. I complain about simple things, making them more complicated. But, I am.... the girl you've chosen to love.

And at the end of the day, when things go wrong and you complain about how shallow and unreasonable and sensitive I am, I wish you'd end up saying "Mahal ko siya eh," rather than just giving a gesture w/c shows disappointment and "I don't really wanna give a fuck anymore."

Maybe I just want to feel that even when you're upset, you're still on my side. And you're still choosing to stay.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

March 09, 2013

http://instagram.com/p/WqVg-jxtfD/

Here's to a day well-spent with my boyfriend :")


One year down, and for now we'll take it as far as we could go. I love you so much, baby :* I'm sorry kung na-didisappoint kita most of the time. I may not be the type of person who would always know the right things to say, but I am sure that I am that person who would always be willing to stay with you through the good times and the bad. You're one of the best things that I have right now, and I don't want to lose you for some stupid and shallow reasons. Thank you for always being there for me despite everything I've put you through. Mahal kita, sanggol :p :*

~ euni ♥

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Because Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough...

Despite everything we have now, we will always have the tendency to "crave" for something we don't have. 

No matter how much we try to be just the best for the persons we love, we just can never be enough for them.

We love them, they love us back... We are blinded by this love that we have learned to believe that despite our insecurities and flaws, they truly feel something real for us. Yes, it may be real, but that doesn't give us the assurance that nothing's gonna change. One day, they could make us feel we're all they've ever wanted. Then the next day, all they could make us feel is that we're just a part of the "Pleasure Puzzle."

Maybe the thing is, I am insecure. I don't have everything you'd love to get from a girl. Most of the time I am too jealous, too clingy. I know you're getting tired of the drama and stuff. But I love you. And it just hurts to see that despite everything, I still can never be enough for you. I still can never be "that girl" for you. 

You'll always be hungry for the thing I couldn't give you, the thing that only other girls could make you feel satisfied...


Maybe I'm wrong for trying to figure something I would never want to know because I just ended up hurting myself. But would I let myself become an ignorant and a fool for believing everything you're trying to make me see while trying to hide some things like you're cheating on me?

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

You say...

You say it's okay, when in fact it's not. You say you aren't expecting, when the truth is, you are. And you have to keep these all to yourself because you don't want to look desperate for his attention, for his presence. But you know to yourself how much it kills you inside. :)